“Investigator Granger: Mr. Oher? Mr. Oher? Tell me why. Tell me why I am here.
Michael Oher: To, investigate?
Investigator Granger: Yes, to investigate. I’m here to investigate your odd, predicament. Do you find it odd, your predicament? Michael?
Michael Oher: I don’t know. Can I leave now?
Investigator Granger: No you can’t.”
Michael Oher became quite popular following the Oscar winning performance of Sandra Bullock in the movie The Blind Side. The movie follows the story of Michael Oher and his rise from obscurity to reach the NFL.
It focuses on how Michael Oher was taken in by a white family and how they adjust.
It’s captivating in many ways and there are many clear lessons to be seen specially such as how much racism is still rooted in some minds.
But one of the interesting lessons I’d like to focus on, concerns a part in the story that’s not in the main focus. I’d encourage you to watch the movie so as to have perspective regarding what follows in this article.
When Micheal became well known to all the football scouts in the area, offers came rushing in from every school and an investigation ensued. Because Leigh-Anne is a huge supporter of Ole Miss and hates its rival, Tennessee, it was argued that she might have adopted him in the first place only to push him to play for the team she supports.
The aforementioned quote is from the scene where Michael is being questioned by the investigator.
During the movie, we see Michael many times in uncomfortable situations and it’s quite clear how he reacts when he clenches his knees out of nervousness.
This was the most discomfort he’d experienced as he felt from the investigator that maybe, just maybe, everything he’d been blessed with recently, was only a way to get him into a football team. He was devastated for those moments where he felt he wasn’t wanted for who he is, but rather some skills attached to him.
We often don’t remember how we treat someone. Even more so, we don’t realize sometimes that the way we think of people, no matter how secret we might have kept it to ourselves, how we think of someone affects how we treat them. And if we only think of them in a way that is centered around for example what use they are for us, this will show.
It’s happened to most of us, someone who doesn’t really care about us, but always pretends like they care and eventually we catch on, but not before we feel hurt and used.
There is a chance we could be doing the same.
The only way to know for sure, is to self-reflect and check our thoughts and behaviors regarding people we deal with.
It’s easy to assume that we’re not to blame, that we’re fine and that we haven’t done anything wrong, but it’s often the times we think we’re right, that we’re very wrong.
If it’s happened to you, please remember always and keep in mind that our worth extends beyond what people use to give us value. You’re not the sum of what you do, you are valued in who you are as a unique person, regardless what people think of you, or use you for.
In the movie, we see how Michael found that Leigh-Anne truly cared for his wellbeing and made him family, we see his smile far more often towards the end, and we see Leigh-Anne sending him off to Tennessee despite her preferences, because it’s not what we do, it’s who we are that defines us.
Every person deserves to know that they are loved not for what they bring to the table, but it’s enough to just sit at the table.
So, keep in mind, at work, with your friends or at school, be kind and don’t let someone feel they’re only in your life for what they offer.
