“Lasting change happens when people see for themselves that a different way of life is more fulfilling than their present one.” ~ Eknath Easwaran
This topic is crucial, it’s arguably the most challenging idea we face daily in our lives.
We felt this deserved a more detailed approach to it.
To that end, we discussed two ideas, prior to this one, we believe are essential in unlocking the keys to long lasting transformation; self-discipline, self-motivation.
In similar fashion to those two ideas previously discussed, lasting transformation is a life’s journey of working on your inner self, influencing your life outwardly by working inwardly on your mindset and behaviors.
What does that mean?
“Start with changing behaviors, not mindsets. It is much easier to ‘act your way into new thinking’ than to ‘think your way into new actions.’ Recurring and consistent performance resulting from behavioral change will lead to lasting changes in the way people feel, think, and believe in the long run.” ~ Jon Katzenbach
In the pursuit of lasting transformation, we face two obstacles:
- Believing we need transformation
- Committing to that transformation
Not everyone likes changing their status quo. Some people believe they’re fine just where they are in life even though they’re deeply dissatisfied and unfulfilled.
They could be scared of change, or might have trouble believing that they actually have the ability to change.
You can’t blame them. Change is hard, and believing that you can is harder.
Even if you did decide to change, and even if you do believe you can, there’s the whole other matter of actually committing to this decision.
That’s what Katzenbach is saying. He’s being very practical.
You need to move past just changing your mindset, it’s obviously a crucial step, but it’s not the main key to moving forward. Behavioral change is what matters here.
That step by step, inch by inch, incremental change in route that begins by forcing your neurons to change that map in your brain that leads to you feel frustration or self-doubt. Those lead to procrastination, which is in of itself proof that you want to change, but are afraid or two anxious to do so.
So, following that step by step method is crucial because it keeps you from getting to wrapped up in your own mind.
“Long-lasting change that will help you create new habits and actions requires an inside-out approach, as well as two very important tools: the mirror and time.” ~ Darren Johnson
The mirror
If you can’t accept your flaws and overcome your frustrations, you won’t be able to look yourself in the mirror. If you can’t look yourself in the mirror, how can you believe in yourself? How can you put in the hard work that’s needed? You’re trying to invest in yourself, it’s a big investment.
It requires lots of hard work and sacrifice, so you need to really be into what you’re buying.
Believe in yourself, love yourself. Don’t wait for anyone outside of you to tell you that you can do it, or that you deserve to try. You do deserve it, and you can do it.
That’s it, it’s done for. It’s settled, don’t wait for confirmation from outside sources.
Time
Social media, technology and fast food having revolutionized the way humans go about their lives. Sadly, they’ve had some devastating effects on their psyche, almost as grave as their benefits. Most surely, the worst effect, is the lack of patience.
We’ve lost our endurance as a species. Instant gratification is the name of the game. In every aspect of our lives, we’re looking for the quickest source of satisfaction. This is evident in our food industries as well as on our phones.
The problem is, this has reflected on our personal lives in our personalities.
We no longer have the stamina to endure the long and tedious processes that science has yet to expedite and will probably never will. You can’t learn patience from science.
You need to put yourself in situations that annoy you over and over again till you change your mindset and behavior about it.
Delayed gratification, that is the key to success. The ability to say “I don’t need to feel good now”. It means you can work hard, get stressed, tired, and fall down, only to get up again and not have any qualms with not seeing results yet.
“This is the first step toward understanding the process of real, lasting change: simply knowing with certainty that you can do whatever you need to do. This understanding has a dual edge: On the one hand it increases your confidence and dignity. On the other hand, it places full responsibility on you if you fail to make the change you set out to make. But this is a good thing, not a guilt trip.” ~ Bo Lozoff
You deserve to seek out a better life for you, in whatever way you see fit.
You deserve to live a full life, a meaningful life.
It does not come easy. It never has and it never will.
Why?
Because the ultimate prize, is you. You in five, ten, twenty or fifty years. That’s what this is all about.
A more fulfilled you, a more educated, peaceful and happier you.
Don’t fall for the greatest trap of them all, guilt.
It’s a stupid trap, but we all fall for it.
Believe in yourself and fight for it, you deserve it, so go earn it!
